Egotism and Conceit will lead to Self-defeat
凡事都是一念心，我们的心如果照顾得不好，让他放纵了，想要再拉回来就很不容易了。做人，尤其是我们非常难得能会遇佛法。会遇佛法之后，我们是否有依教奉行？是否有依照佛陀的教法，我们一步一步地依照他的方法走？
这几天一直都在说「法譬如水」，我们是否经常用「水」来洗涤我们的凡夫「心中的无明污染的垢秽」？
日常生活中不能离开水，慧命也是一样，需时时用法水，怯除凡夫心，受无明污染的垢秽，保持本性清净。
我们日常生活都不能离开水，才有办法生存下去。但是我们都没有觉查到？我们的慧命也同样不能够离开水。慧命要好好让他保持干净，要干净就是要用法。唯有经常不断地用佛法来洗涤我们的内心，才能够使我们能保持本性清净。若是我们的内心有了污染，我们要及时排除、清除这个污染。
我们之前说过，人的本性如果要保持得好，孝顺父母便是百善之本。有人这么说「百善孝为先」；这在上回也已经说过了－－父母对孩子无所求，事事都是为了孩子，为了孙子，这样辛苦付出。到了年老时，年轻人各奔前程，年老时自己独居、孤单。当他有病痛时，询问他：「有没有告诉孩子？孩子是否知道？」「不要告诉他，不要跟他说比较不会烦恼。每个人都有自己的家业，他们都很忙碌。」
诸位，这种话表达父母的那种体贴，替孩子体贴，我们是否常常听到呢？尤其是我们在医院作志工的时候，最常听到这种话。舍不得让孩子担心，考虑到儿子、媳妇，有自己的家业要照顾，看，这是多体贴、多伟大的父母。父母心就如堂上活佛，我们学佛要敬重诸佛，在家我们要敬重父母。不是只供给父母饮食他们就会欢喜，父母要的是一个「顺」。
如果我们想要孝顺，就要懂得顺从他们，能在身边照顾他。所以在慈济的医院，就开辟了一个「轻安居」。因为常常有人问说：「师父！慈济为什么不办老人院呢？」每次如果去参观老人院，百感交集，看到老人对着老人，即使是住在高级有人照顾的老人院，虽然孩子给他很多钱，住在哪种高级的养老所，但是看了还是很不忍心。每天起来就是面对着老人与老人，很无聊。看他们在那边下棋，在那边无所事事，看了很不忍心。
所以在慈济医院，我们就开辟了一个轻安居。孩子早上要上班之前，去他的家里把他载来，或是他的儿子、媳妇把他载过来，在慈济医院的轻安居里面，是个很舒适的地方，有护士、有志工来陪伴他们。行动不方便的帮助他复健；没有办法料理自己的身体的，就帮他洗干净。一直到下午，儿子、媳妇下班了，有的是慈济医院把他们送回家去，有的是儿子、媳妇自己过来把他们载回去。
这种白天有人照顾，帮助他复健，和他作伴，还能够启发已经失忆的老人，有些老人已经失去了记忆，还能再为他启发起来，这样当他回到家里的时候，他也还能享受天伦之乐。感觉起来，这样就比较安心。老人走过了一辈子，几十年的风霜岁月，几十年的时间，为家庭、为社会都有贡献。老来也应该要给他一个，有人关心、有人照顾，这样品质的生活。
所以上回说过了，现在的多数人，都是「不孝父母六亲眷属」。「不孝父母」－－我们都知道了，让父母烦恼，都是不好；包括我们自己的身体没有照顾好，这同样也是不孝的一项。让父母担心，我们也看过很多白发苍苍的父母，在医院操心、照顾子女，这也很多。所以要孝顺父母，真的就是要好好照顾自己，才是真正的感父母恩。
盛年放逸，以自骄倨，于一切财宝，一切歌乐，一切女色，心生贪恋，意起烦恼。
所以不要「盛年放逸，以自骄倨」！不可以依恃我们还年轻、或者是中年就放纵；感觉要孝顺父母还有时间，我们要修身养性也还有时间。我现在有机会可以快乐、娱乐，到处旅游、玩乐，能够享受，为什么不趁年轻的时候呢？
也是因为有这种心态，所以他就会放纵，放纵骄倨。「骄」，有人说过一句话「骄则败」－－「骄」，「胜者堕骄坑，败者堕忧狱」。因为骄慢就好像跳入火坑一样；我们知道骄则败，这就好像堕入骄的深坑，骄必定是慢，就是十分傲慢。我们若是傲慢的人，将来真的是自败，败在自己；就如同走入人间地狱当中，不会快乐、很辛苦。做人不能骄倨，骄是放逸、倨就是慢，「骄慢贡高」对我们人生实在伤害很大。
贡高骄慢必自败，所以要时时警惕自己，缩小自我，缩进他人的瞳孔中。
我常常对大家说：「愈是有成就的人，愈要警惕自己，要缩小自己。要如何能永远在别人的心目中呢？就是要缩进人的瞳孔，一直钻入人的内心。」我们要在别人心中，有一个地位，必定要能够平易近人，没有什么好贡高，没有什么好骄倨的啊！
于一切财宝，一切歌乐，一切女色，心生贪恋。
「于一切财宝、一切歌乐、一切女色，心生贪恋。」这种趁着年轻、趁着有体力去玩，这种非常的放纵，这种人真的是很可怜的人，因为他不懂得道理，因为他不知道人生是如此的危脆、是如此的无常，这种人就是无知。无知的人，就是贪恋于财宝、歌乐、女色，为所欲为，贪一切的享受。这是很可怜的人，歌池舞榭，天天喝得醉茫茫的，带来了社会的不安，带来了家庭的不幸，甚至伤害自己，这是最愚痴的人。
尤其是这样的享乐，后面所带来的都是痛苦。你看跳舞，他在舞场上他是否很快乐，不快乐，在那种场所，有很多的是非、陷阱、危险的事情都在哪里。我们不是常常听到，在这种娱乐场所，经常都是惹是生非，经常都有各种打打杀杀的社会事件发生在这种地方，真的是一个非常危险的陷阱。但是就是无知，所以他还是会到那里找快乐，这就就好像孩子玩火一样，终究会惹火烧身。
无知之人，贪恋于歌舞、财宝与女色，为所欲为，贪一切享受，却惹来更多的痛苦与不幸。
尤其是一切的女色，有的人说：「万恶淫为首」，很多的恶事祸端，都是源自于女色。所以有一句话说：「贪女色，真是迷魂罗叉。」自古以来，你看，有多少帝王，不爱江山爱美人，为了一个女人，可以乱伦；为了一个女人，可以放弃江山。你看，在我们中国，有一位很勇猛的霸王，他为了一个女人也是神魂颠倒，所以有一出戏叫做「霸王别姬」。
还有纣王，纣王被什么所败，也是女人。 「妲己败纣王、貂蝉弄董卓」，这在过去古代是这样，现在则是比比皆是。现代很多，有的大企业家，地位已经很高、钱财也很多，绯闻也很多。总而言之，女色我们若能知道，应该要知道他是迷魂罗叉，能够败我们的名、送我们的命。
但是人间就是应该一夫一妻，家中的女人应该是最美的，但是偏偏就有人不爱家花，还是偏爱野花香，这也是人生颠倒苦难、造业的一轮。所以若是贪女色，在那里恋恋不舍，甚至丧身败德，甚至连家业都会被女人败掉，所以身败名裂，很多都是因为女色。
各位我们学佛，真的要好好将我们的心调和好。人生应该的规则，我们都要保持好。无论是家庭生活，家庭的生活，孝顺父母是我们的本份事，持家、好好照顾家庭，是我们的责任。所以说起来，人若能好好照顾好我们的家庭，好好照顾我们的本份，对父母、对家庭、对社会，对一切六亲眷属，我们若能好好保持人伦，离佛法就不远了。
所以在家的居士，要守好这分家庭伦理道德，若能守得好就是做到「百善孝为先」；若是守得好，我们就不会「万恶淫为首」。我们不会去造作这个罪业。「百善孝为先」，「孝」是百善的开头，这是我们人生的根本。若是已经出家了，我们也要时时把我们的心照顾好，天下就是我们的大家庭，我们都已经进入如来家庭。如来家庭是清净的，心不能有污染，因为我们日日都在佛法中，我们都是沐浴在佛法中。
佛法、法水不时都在洗涤我们的心，所以心一点都不能受污染；学佛者要请大家多用心。
Mind alone creates everything. If we do not carefully take care of the mind, if we let it loose, reining it in again will not be easy. To be born human, and to encounter Buddha-dharma, is truly a rare opportunity. After encountering Dharma, are we able to abide by the precepts and live according to the Buddha's teachings by taking each step in accordance with the methods He taught?
As I have been saying the past few days, Dharma is like water. Do we often use this water to wash away, the impurity and ignorance in our minds?
In our daily lives, we cannot do with water. The same applies to our Wisdom-live. We need to constantly use Dharma-water to eliminate ignorance and defilements in our minds, and maintain the purity of our intrinsic nature.
In our daily lives, we cannot do without water. We need it to survive. But we often do not realize that, water is also essential to our Wisdom-life. Our Wisdom-life also needs to be kept clean. To do that we need Dharma. The Buddha-dharma enables us to maintain our pure intrinsic nature. Should there be any impurity, we must quickly remove it.
As we have discussed before, if we want to preserve our intrinsic nature, filial piety is the foundation of all goodness. "Filial piety is foremost among all good deeds". As I said last time, parents have no expectations of their children. Everything they do is for the sake of their children and grandchildren. Yet when parents grow old, the young people are off pursuing their careers and leave them to live alone.
When parents fall sick, if you ask, "Have you told your children about this?" "Do they know you are ill?" They reply, "No, don't tell them. I don't want to worry them. They have their own families and careers. They are very busy."
Everyone, don't we often hear these sentiments, that demonstrate how thoughtful, parents are toward their children? When we volunteer at the hospital, we hear these sentiments most frequently. They cannot bear for their children to worry and are mindful that their children have other responsibilities. How considerate and selfless parents are!
Parents are like living Buddhas. As Buddhists, we must respect all Buddhas and at home we must respect our parents. For our parents to be happy, we must do more than give them food. We should offer them compliance. If we want to be filial, we need to be compliant and stay by their side to look after them.
In our hospital, we opened an adult day-care center. People often ask me, "Master, why not build retirement homes?" Every time I visit a retirement home, I am filled with many emotions. The elderly are surrounded by other elders. Even if the retirement home has luxurious facilities and offers good care, even if the children are willing to pay a lot for them to live in such a nice place, the sight is still unbearable. Every day, the only people they encounter are other old people, so they get very bored. Seeing them play chess or sit around with nothing to do, I feel greatly for them. That is why, in our hospital, we opened an adult day-care center.
We pick some of them before their children go to work. Others are driven here by their children. The adult day-care center in our hospital is a very comfortable place. Nurses and volunteers keep them company and provide physiotherapy to those who cannot move around easily. They also help clean those who cannot manage their own bodies. They stay until late afternoon, when their children get off work. Some of them we drive home; others are driven around by their children.
So during the day, people care for them, and provide them with physiotherapy and company. We also help to stimulate the minds of those who are growing senile, then when they return home, they can still enjoy the joys of family life. This feels much better to me.
These old folks have lived a lifetime, endured decades of hardship and contributed a great deal to their families and to society. Now that they are old, they deserve to have someone care for and look after them. They deserve such qualify of life.
As I said last time, many people nowadays are "Not filial to their parents and elders". We know that being un-filial to our parents means we cause them to worry. That is truly un-filial. Not taking good care of our health is another way to be un-filial because that worries our parents. We have also seen many gray-haired parents who worry about and take care of their sick children in the hospital. This is also very common. So to be filial, we really need to take good care of ourselves. That is the best way to show our gratitude.
In our prime we are unrestrained and conceited. We crave all forms of wealth and treasures, entertainment, and lustful acts. When greed and infatuation arise in our minds, afflictions arise in our thoughts.
So do not be "unrestrained and conceited in your prime". Do not depend on youth or lack of restraint in your prime to think that "I have plenty of time left to be filial, plenty of time left for spiritual cultivation. Now is the time to be happy, entertained, and to play and sightsee. Why don't we enjoy ourselves while we are young?" If this is our attitude, we will become unrestrained and conceited.
It is said, "Conceit brings about failure". "Victors fall into a pit of conceit, losers fall into a hell of depression." Conceit and arrogance feel like fiery pits. We know conceit will bring failure, just like falling into a deep abyss. Conceit brings about arrogance and pride. If we are proud and arrogant, we will truly cause our own downfall. That is like entering hell on earth. We will be very unhappy and tired.
We must not be conceited. Conceit leads to lack of restraint. Arrogance leads to pride. Conceit and egotism are truly detrimental to our lives.
Egotism and conceit will lead to self-defeat. So always be self-aware and shrink the ego to enter through others' pupils.
As I often tell you, the more we have achieved, the more self-aware and humble we must be. How can we forever, remain in others' minds and eyes? We need to be "small enough" to enter into their pupils and the depths of their minds. To gain a place in other people's minds, we must be approachable. There is nothing to be egotistic about. There is nothing to be conceited about.
Greed and infatuation arise in our minds toward all forms of wealth and treasures, entertainment, and lustful acts.
Those who indulge in travel and play while they are still young and strong are truly pitiable. They do not understand Truth. They do not realize that life is fragile and impermanent. Their lack of awareness is called ignorance. Ignorant people crave wealth, entertainment and lustful acts. They do as they please and crave pleasure. These people are wretched; they indulge in entertainment and drinking every day.
Such people cause social unrest, misfortune for their families, and even harm to themselves. They are the most foolish and deluded people. Moreover, enjoyment of pleasures is often followed by great suffering. Take dancing for example, are people at the dance clubs really happy? Not really, in those places, there are many conflicts and pitfalls. Dangerous things happen there. Don't we often hear about how these places of entertainment attract fights beatings and murders? They are truly very dangerous traps. But people are ignorant so they go there in search of happiness. It is just like kids playing with fire and getting burned.
Ignorant people crave entertainment, wealth, treasures, and lustful acts. By doing as they please and craving all pleasures, they attract even more suffering and misfortune.
Lust is particularly dangerous. Some say, "Lust is foremost among all evils". Many evil deeds and disasters originate with lust. So it is said, "Craving lustful acts is like being mesmerized by a Raksha"".
Since ancient times, many emperors gave up their empires for beautiful women. For the sake of a woman, they abandoned their morals and they gave up their empire. In Chinese history, there was a very aggressive warlord who lost this senses over a woman. The opera based on this is called "Farewell My Concubine". There was also an emperor named Zhou. What caused his downfall? Also a woman. Da-ji brought the downfall of Emperor Zhou and Diao-chan manipulated Dong-zhuo. There are many such examples in history.
Things are still the same today. Nowadays there are many successful businessmen who have high social status and great wealth. But they are surrounded by scandals. All in all, we should understand that lust can cause us to lose our senses, ruin our good names and end our lives. In this world, people should be monogamous. A wife should be the most beautiful woman to her husband. But some men do not appreciate their wives; instead they have a roving eye. This is also the misery and confusion of life and is a way to create karma.
If someone is lustful and attached to an improper love affair, for the sake of a woman, a person may even ruin a career or family life. Lust will often cause men to ruin their reputation.
Everyone, as we learn Buddhism, we must work hard to condition our minds. We must observe and uphold the laws governing human conduct. In the sphere of family life, being filial to our parents as well as supporting and taking care of the family are our responsibilities. Therefore, if we can take good care of our family and fulfill all our responsibilities towards our parents, family, society and all our relatives. If we can abide by ethics and morals, then we are not far from Buddha-dharma.
Therefore, lay practitioners must uphold family ethics and morals. If we uphold "filial piety, foremost among all good deeds we will not commit lustful acts, foremost of all evils" and will not create this bad karma.
Filial piety is foremost among all good deeds, a fundamental principle of life. For those of us who have renounced the secular life, we must take good care of our minds at all times. For us, the world is our family. We have entered the Tathagata-family. His family is pure so our minds cannot contain any defilement. Every day, we are in the midst of Dharma, bathing in the Buddha's teachings.
Buddha-dharma or Dharma-water is constantly cleansing our minds. Our mind should never be defiled, even a little. Everyone, please always be mindful.
出处：http://moya.iyard.org/bin/view/Blog/BlogEntry2191
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